Part 4: The Cockroaches See Light
Even After Skullduggery, Subterfuge, and Hand Jobs, the Provocateurs Persist
I suspect that a series of phone calls and personal meetings took place while the whole ship of fools was sailing in circles. Again, this is speculation on my part. But here goes:
The cellphone chime was annoying, as it had been picked for this precise purpose. The owner reached into her pocket and pulled it out, ignoring the caller ID, and simply flipped it open.
“What?” The woman’s voice was shrill, brittle and highly caustic.
“It’s me.” The voice on the other end was virtually the same, except for the mouth of gourmet ice cream. “He’s back.”
Silence. “He’s back? You mean he’s actually awake and lucid? That’s impossible. The guy from [enter name of internationally known intelligence agency here] said that there’s enough of that stuff in him to keep a horny gorilla from getting a boner for years. He can’t be back.”
“I know,” the other woman said, “I don’t understand it. There’s no antidote for this stuff, he should be drooling in front of the TV, but something happened. He’s up and he’s taking charge. I just got a call from the First Lady, she’s been banned from the place, her staff with her. It’s a rout. And he’s fired the entire staff in EOP. All our people are gone.”
The sound of an electric razor buzzed around the cellphone microphone as the owner shaved her five o’clock shadow. “What’s he know? Do we have any idea?” And who’s still in there?”
The caller let out a huge sigh. “Nobody. Everybody’s been kicked out, even the Cabinet. The Chief of Staff is being held by the US Marshals on charges of treason and staging a coup. They’ve already moved him offshore, there’s no way to get him back in. As to what the President knows, there’s no telling. He’s got some of the security staff briefing him on logistics– who was in what meeting, etc. It’s breaking open.”
“What about the Fan Boys [slang for possibly the insider agents who have their hands in everything]? What about them? Can’t somebody … do … something? Maybe give him some happy pills and say it’s a stroke? The Vice President could take over and bury all this shit, she doesn’t have a clue other than when refill time is.”
The caller spooned out some ice cream as she held her phone on her shoulder. “It’s undoable. I don’t know how this happened, but he’s asking about coercion and the election, specifically who said what to him to induce him to drop out. They’re onto the Auto-pen thing, they’ll be matching signatures with video logs. And I don’t want that walking wine box anywhere near any of this. She’s an idiot.”
“Well, that’s all going nowhere. They can’t prove anything. If they want to go down that road, fine, they’ll look dumber than a chimpanzee fucking a football. He’s only got maybe 45 days left until Trump comes back in, we can stall the nominations for weeks, especially for AG and DHS. The Bureau nomination we can draw out for at least thee months. That’s time to turn and burn.” The woman looked around. “Meanwhile, let’s just let the whole thing implode. In the end it’s all on him, he's in charge. If he’s dumb enough to let his wife run the government, that’s his problem. Remember, lack of prohibition constitutes permission.”
The caller hesitated. “What about all the money trails? Jesus. And the son is snorting more stuff than an entire gay harem, and he’s banging the harem at the same time. The budget overruns are going to leave a few things out in the open.”
“Collateral damage. But we may want to tell the freaks to turn off the noise for a bit. Just coast in and pretend it’s all news to us. Pay off the internet trolls and those stupid whores in the media and tell them to go cold turkey. By the way, how is San Francisco these days?”
The caller perked up. “It’s heaven, we’re off to wine country this weekend to stay at the ranch. You? How’s Haiti? How’s the local fruit?”
“They’re as juicy and as fresh as ever. There’s the doorbell, I have to go. Remember, keep smiling at the camera and acting like you’re oblivious. No interviews. We need to find out what’s going to happen next. And stay off the chats.”
LUB